


`You're the one that I love, And I'm saying goodbye´

by humanityalmost



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Broken Bones, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Heartbreaking, Lots of it tbh, M/M, well a broken nose actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 01:39:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10754073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanityalmost/pseuds/humanityalmost
Summary: The haze of lust and hate an incomparable mix; an addiction they both couldn´t escape from. They were lost before they even realized what was happening to them.





	`You're the one that I love, And I'm saying goodbye´

**Author's Note:**

> Hey lads :)  
> i am back alive :D  
> but with something completely different this time: a football fic.  
> this was actually pretty hard to write and is surely not one of my best works but i guess it has to do for now...  
> the title is from `Say Something´ by A Great Big World and this is a gift for Ro! Hope you´ll like it <3  
> Have fun! <3

‘Fuck off you bastard! Seriously what is wrong with your stupid brain?’  
Sergio was full on screaming at his national team member, their heads only separated by centimeters. He could feel Gerard’s breath on his face but he was too angry to even notice. His eyes were gleaming fiery and his left hand was clenched into a tight fist. He really had to hold himself back to not punch the mocking grin off of his face with one perfectly placed punch.

Since Gerard still didn't look like he would explain why he fouled him in the first place and just kept grinning, Sergio took a deep breath and forced himself to let the air out of his lungs slowly, reminding himself of the calming techniques their team therapist had taught him, to avoid getting sent off due to a headless reaction during a match. 

‘Right, Sese, do your breathing maybe it’ll make you a better footballer. You shouldn't give up on that case.’  
Gerard's provocative tone was enough to make the young Spaniard flip completely and before someone could have stopped him, he punched his opponent straight into the face, hearing an alarming crack of bones. 

Completely shocked by his own reaction, he slowly let his arm sink, still feeling Gerard’s face mashed against his fist. He was completely trapped in his state of shock, he didn't hear the whistle of the referee and didn't see the red card, as his teammates brought him to the sideline. He saw his coach scream at him but he couldn't understand what he was saying. It was as if he was lost in a cloud that was keeping all the noise away; just the sentence ‘you punched gerard’ kept replaying in his mind, making him shiver as he made his way into the locker room.

It has always been kind of special. Not just the El Clasico in general but also his personal fight with Gerard. He just rubbed him the wrong way, always has, since the first time they met each other on the pitch. The other one just had something that made Sergio want to punch him 90% of their time spent together. He managed to rile him up like no other ever could. Sometimes one facial expression was enough and Sergio felt personally attacked by his colleague. 

But it was the same the other way around. It was just how they worked. It wouldn't have been them if they would just get along without any difficulties. It was that spark of hatred and despise that made their relationship work and they were too scared of losing each other to question their strange dynamics. But in this moment Sergio knew he made a mistake that couldn't be fixed easily or just ignored. He had risked everything they had because he had lost control.

Completely lost he sank down in the corner of the locker room. He could feel all resistance that kept him from breaking down, leave his body and a loud sob escaped his throat, his whole body shaking in pain and frustration. Angrily he grabbed onto his head, destroying the careful arrangement of strands that was his hair and pulling on them just screaming out his emotions into the empty room before him. He could feel his throat tighten up and another heartbreaking sob left his lips. He couldn´t focus on anything other than the picture of him punching his kind-of-boyfriend, that kept replaying before his eyes, making him shiver and his heart ached from guilt. 

This wasn´t how this should have gone. He should have himself under control, no matter how much Gerard tried to rile him up. For fucks sake, he loved him and he just possibly broke his nose. How had he messed up so bad? He didn´t have an explanation for it and suddenly there were tears of shame and pain coating his cheeks in a steady stream of wetness. And slowly a realization started trickling into his mind: he never even told him he loved him. 

They didn´t do feelings, it was one of their unwritten rules. It was just sex, officially at least. There never was the possibility of feelings getting involved and they both just accepted this, but now all of this seemed so unimportant and stupid to Sergio. One of a dozen of minor mistakes their relationship was built on. 

***

Gerard was still utterly baffled by the events of the last few hours as he flung his bag in a corner of his villa and sunk down onto the floor in the middle of his living room, his legs just no longer willing to carry his weight. Sitting there on the cold tiled floor, he finally started to understand what happened on the pitch a few hours earlier and he felt a sharp pain flashing through his nose as he tried to wipe it on the sleeve of his hoodie. 

Tears were welling in his eyes and he could feel Sergio´s fist on his face again, saw the aggressive and hate-filled look in his brown eyes flashing before his inner eyes before he threw the punch and a cold shiver run down his spine, making him feel even colder than he already was. 

A small drop was rolling down his cheek and fell onto the floor before him, creating a tiny wet spot. Loud sobs of desperation, pain and fear of the consequences of this day left his mouth and his whole body tensed up, making his worn out muscles ache and him cry out in even more pain.

The feeling of loss creeped into his heart and he could feel a bang as he imagined Sergio´s smile in his head. It wasn´t long ago that he saw it, that wonderful, heartwarming little twitch of lips that grew into a full, sunny smile as Gerard laced their fingers together and pressed a kiss softly onto the other´s nose. It had felt so perfect back then but now those moments seemed to be so far away. They wouldn´t work out, deep down they always knew it would end in a catastrophe some day but they flung themselves into it nevertheless. The attraction and fascination by the other too massive to make their brain work properly. 

The haze of lust and hate an incomparable mix; an addiction they both couldn´t escape from. They were lost before they even realized what was happening to them. 

Gerard was still crying his heart out as he heard the door being opened and steps shuffling closer to him and as he lifted up his gaze from the sea of tears that he left behind on the floor, he saw Sergio: standing right in front of him, his hair unbrushed and his eyes swollen and red. He clearly had cried and his eyes were filled with so much guilt and pain, Gerard couldn´t resist the urge to extend a hand to him and - as Sergio hesitantly took it - pull him down onto the floor beside him. 

Carefully he placed both of his hands on Sergio´s cheeks, watching the mix of emotions in his stormy eyes. It was like reading an open book, he saw all of his raw emotions bundled up and mixed together and his heart was hurting so bad, he wondered when it would just shatter in a million pieces. But he couldn´t find even one word to say, his brain was empty. The only thing that seemed natural to him was leaning forward into Sergio, their faces centimeters away from each other, their breaths mixing between their lips, and slowly placing his lips tenderly onto the other Spaniard´s. 

But contrary to his expectation their kiss wasn´t chaste. It was not like any of their previous ones. It was filled with all the pain and fear they had experienced the last few hours; it was hasty and hungry, the fire still burning deeply inside them. There were so many feelings mixed into this kiss, they both clearly not ready to give up on each other but also knowing there was no way to make it work any longer. Boundaries have been broken and hearts have been shattered. There was no way back. 

Gasping for air they broke their kiss, foreheads pressed tightly together and eyes wide open. Gerard´s hand had a soft but strong grip on Sergio´s face and Sergio´s hands were clutching the other one´s sweater, his knuckles white. There were tears running down both of their faces and deep down they knew that this was the end.

It felt like something final, like something that couldn´t just be changed back. It was something permanent, leaving two heartbroken men behind, trying to hold on desperately to the last few shared moments they had before everything would change.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think, I´d really appreciate it! <3


End file.
